Remembering Blessings

So as a preface, I realize it's been a LONG time since I blogged. There have been probably about a hundred bloggable thoughts and moments in recent months, and most of them so happy, and so I hate the fact that now I finally blog and it's about something not-so-happy. Life is so sweet right now for the most part, and God is so good and so faithful.

The things that usually best motivate me to blog are analogies that I notice in life. and this one may seem like a stretch but I'm going for it...

So on Wednesday night, I was over at Garrett's and we were having dinner and I was talking about how very aware I was that day of how much I love my job. That I always love my job deep down but don't always like it day-to-day and hour-to-hour. But that that day I just really loved it, and was really thankful for it, and recognized it for the blessing that it is...

A little bit later in the night, it rained. Of course I got excited, and we went out on the balcony and enjoyed a little ten-minute storm.

After we went inside, I checked my email. I got an email with the news that my pay would likely be cut by 50% (this news became official Friday), resulting in the strong possibility that I will have to leave this job that I love, or that it will at least change drastically. After I emailed my boss, and Garrett and I prayed and talked a bit, I commented that I wanted to go back and read my blogs from the last time this happened (February/March last year), so that I remembered more vividly that the whole experience was a blessing, that I came out of it really thankful for lessons learned and for the way I saw God provide in so many ways.

When I left that night, I walked outside and it smelled amazing, and everything was wet, and I remembered that it had rained. I'd already forgotten. I'd been so thankful for the rain when it happened, and things got distracting, and I forgot. And it just pointed to how quick I am to forget, and how much I have to work to remember blessings and the God who gives them so freely. I really was thankful for the events of last February and March, and yet my first response to an email like the one I got that night is anxiety. Let me not forget that the God who cared for me 11 months ago is no less committed to caring for me perfectly today, and that his care for me might best be expressed in this season by taking me through another trial to conform me more into the image of Himself.