Sunday, November 16, 2014

Starting up Again

I've been itching to blog again...but it's hard!  It's hard to find the time, it's hard to find the inspiration, it's mostly hard to find those two things at the same time!  It's also hard to jump right in with random ramblings like I used to when it's been over 2 years since I did an entry at all.

But...I think I'm going to try! Please, bear with me while I try my writing-for-fun hat on again.  It may take awhile to warm up :-)

I've been thinking a lot lately about how every big development starts with something small. Some examples:

How could I have known, when I was dropped off at my first piano lesson at age 7, that playing piano would become such an integral part of my life?  That I would one day audition in front of big scary judges and get into a music program, that I would end up teaching other people to play, that I would use piano-playing one day to make deep connections with people in therapy?  In childhood I may have cried out of frustration while practicing, but how could I have known that in my adulthood I would use that very same instrument to express something deeply, that I would cry as I played my heart out in the midst of heartache or tragedy?  How could I have known?

How could I have known, when I first attended a church service at the neighborhood Methodist church as a kid, that God was at work?  That He would use that church, albeit imperfect, to introduce me to His word?  That He would one day change my heart and make me His own?   That I needed to be saved from my sin, and that He would do it, and that my life would never be the same?  How could I have known?

How could I have known, when I heard the tragic news in 1998 that my friend was in a horrible accident and suffered a brain injury, that people with disabilities would one day be one of my life's passions?  That in my visits to her in the years that followed, I was also being prepared to love so many others down the road?  That talking to people who can't talk back would one day be so very normal for me?  That that story - HER story - was impacting MY story in so many far-reaching ways?  How could I have known?

How could I have known, when my dad first mentioned music therapy on a car ride in 1999, that I would pursue it for real, that "music therapist, board certified" would become the initials after my name in my adulthood?

How could I have known, when I followed up on a classified ad in the newspaper (yes, apparently I AM that old) to get my first job after high school in 2002 in a day program for people with disabilities, that I was entering a whole new world in which I would pour myself out for many years?

How could I have known, when some new college friends invited me to their church that fall, that this church would become my new home for at least 12 years (and counting) and would impact my life in countless ways?

How could I have known, in my very first professional music therapy session in 2007, that I would watch this awkward middle-schooler grow up and graduate and get her first job and would still be singing with her 7 years later?

How could I have known, when I submitted my application to a company I'd never heard of in 2010, that I was joining a work family that I so treasure today and that I would meet more than 100 clients who would enrich my life for years to come?

I could NOT have known, I couldn't have known any of it.  There is only One who knew all along, and to Him I am deeply grateful.  And naturally, it makes me wonder what He's up to next...