What really matters...

I got another email from my employer last night, this one saying that our rates have returned to their former levels! A lawsuit against the State of Arizona was successful, and while the battle is far from over, the State was forced to immediately restore everything that was cut. They will fight it, of course, and we can't be confident that this is permanent, but it is still a reason to rejoice.

So it looks as though I'll be staying at my job and with the same kids and in my same house for at least another few weeks - praise God! And whether the last month was an isolated season or a taste of what is soon to come, I am genuinely thankful that it happened. Some of the many blessings that came out of it:

- a closer, more intimate walk with God. I've seen so many answered prayers, and have felt God's nearness in so many ways. Even in points of exhaustion, or maybe especially in them, I've been able to rejoice in His goodness

- a stronger belief in my ability to live without the little luxuries. My coffee shop attendance, in particular, has been significantly lower. Seems I'm actually able to stay awake without any caffeine at all!

- a more genuine belief in the value of what I do. How do you walk away from a job where little miracles happen all around you on a regular basis? I've treasured each of my sessions as my potential last with each of my kids, and it's been a pretty amazing journey.

-greather empathy. One roommate and 1 other good friend, among many others I'm aware of, have been jobless for some time. And while every situation is obviously unique, I have a certain understanding now that I couldn't have had before.

- practice in hospitality. I've never been a big fan of eating out, but I do love 1:1 conversations with friends, and in the past those were most often scheduled over a meal out or a coffee date at one of my favorite spots. My sudden financial predicament prompted me to invite people over instead. I actually cooked for people occasionally, had the blessing of other people coming over and cooking in our kitchen, and I finally learned how to make my own mochas for myself and my friends. And I enjoyed it!

-general growing up. I've been making all sorts of difficult decisions - turning down other jobs even while mine is in a sorry state, having to think about things like insurance above things like preference, having very formal conversations that I don't want to have. And God has given me peace in each of these things.

God has been so good. I had to fight to shepherd my heart in this whole situation, but I feel like I didn't even have to fight that hard. His goodness has been so consistently evident, and blessings have been in such abundance. We'll see how the future plays out, but one thing I know is that my God does not change. His faithfulness now will persist through whatever good or bad might come in upcoming weeks, months, and years. What a comfort! What a joy!