Thursday, October 25, 2012

31 for 21: Not About Me

*I've joined a blogging challenge for the month of October: Blog every day in October in honor of National Down Syndrome Awareness Month (Down syndrome is medically defined as Trisomy 21, and there are 31 days in October, hence the name 31 for 21). My posts will not necessarily be about Down syndrome, but I am writing as a person who 1) loves many people w/Down syndrome and other disabilities and 2) desires for others to be able to see what I see: remarkably unique people with much to offer to the world* 

If I'm perfectly honest, today was not one of my favorite birthdays.  It ended well, dinner with two of my best friends, good conversation and delicious food.  But the rest of the day was, well, just sort of mediocre.  I am not a huge attention-seeker, but that doesn't mean I'm not an attention-DESIRER, especially on my birthday.  And my birthday just sort of seemed like an afterthought throughout the work day.  The clients were hardly aware of it, and the staff didn't go out of their way.  There were a few sweet moments, but mostly it was just a normal day.  And it was not absent of conflicts, of really frustrating moments with the clients,of growing weary of seeing some staff not work their hardest.  Just a normal day.

Then in one of my sessions, my little client had had her routine messed with shortly before I arrived, which in turn caused her to bang her head on furniture, scream, scratch, pinch, slap, and hit me with a blanket and a pillow, while saying, 'Hit Krista with a pillow?  Hit Krista with blanket?"  Sigh.  Happy birthday to me.

But you know what?  It really isn't about me.  Work is not about me.  It's about the clients. And conflicts were resolved.  And that session? Turned out it brought out some sort of emergency-creativity in me and turned into a really awesome music therapy process with that kid. 

And more importantly, life isn't about me. I should really only want any positive attention directed away from me and toward the Lord. Anything else sort of teeters on a dangerous border of pride and selfishness and idolatry.

I love the verses I read this morning, verses found right in the midst of Job's ongoing reasoning and questioning of why the Lord has afflicted him:

"You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews. You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit." - Job 10:11-12

What else do I need?  I have a Lord who created me, granted me life and steadfast love, and preserves my spirit through His care.  And tomorrow will be another day much like today, and it also will not revolve around me.  And let's be honest, that is absolutely as it should be.

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